Help me with my unbelief.

Over the last few years, God has been working with me on having loose hands…not holding onto things so tightly and placing all under His care & direction.

Sometimes that’s easier for me than others, to say the least.

Looking back over this past year…embryo transfers, new job for Chris, our move, making the decision to adopt traditionally {which practically requires letting go of most of the control}…2015 had loose hands written all over it.

As I move into 2016, I know loose hands will still be something He works on with me. I doubt there are many people who don’t get some attention in that area, but for control-freaks like me it’s definitely an ongoing process. But a few weeks ago, in an advent sermon I was listening to online, I heard a verse read-aloud that hasn’t left my mind since. I wouldn’t say that it’s my “resolution” for 2016, but rather it’s my prayer.

Mark 9:24b says “I do believe; help my unbelief!”

Here’s the excerpt from the sermon {transcript} by Matt Chandler…you’ll see that I’m not escaping the loose hands thing any time soon. 🙂

“Because I’ve followed Christ for 20 years, and I still have some of that in me. Hear me putting my cards on the table so I might love you well. In 90 percent of the areas of my life, I just trust the Lord has it, and I’m not worried about it. “What are you going to do aboutthis?” “I don’t know. The Lord has it. I’m not concerned about it.”

But I have 10 percent I’m nervous to loosen up on. Anybody else? I have 10 percent where I go, “Okay, I trust you. I believe you, God. I can look back and see your faithfulness, but for whatever reason, it’s hard for me to trust you with this one. It’s hard for me to fully believe you’re for my good in this. It’s hard for me to believe you’re going to do this thing in the way I’m hoping.” I cling to it a bit more tightly. Anybody else? No? All of you have such great faith. Well, praise God for you. Come on up. I’ll take it off. You got it. You finish this up.

No! Of course we do. In fact, one of my favorite stories in the Bible goes along these lines of encouraging us as we wrestle to believe what we believe. The Bible tells us of a father in Mark, chapter 9. It tells us of a father who has a son that is demonically possessed. That demonic possession has manifested itself in physical seizures. Not just physical seizures, but the demon will manifest itself by throwing the boy into fires and trying to kill the boy.

The father, who is now out of hope, has nowhere else to go. Nobody can help his son. Again, reading the Bible with detail and imagination, here’s how I want to read Mark 9. “I have a son. He is 9 years old.” Where’s my heart? Where’s my mind if this is my boy and there are no answers? You start reading the Bible likethat, and you’ll start reading the Bible. Are you tracking with me?

He takes his son to Jesus and says, “Hey, he has seizures. He throws himself in the fire. We have no hope. Can you help?” He asks the question, “Can you help?” Jesus responds, “If you believe, all things are possible.” Look at what the father says immediately. I know he says it immediately because of the first word in Mark 9:24. “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said…” Listen to what he cries out. “I believe; help my…” What? “…unbelief!”

Now that’s a life verse right there. For all are more than conquerors through Christ. Right? How about that one? “I believe; help my unbelief!” I don’t know of another verse that is more really dialed in to the reality of my pursuit of Christ than that verse. “I believe; help my unbelief!”

“I know you’re good. I know you’re right. I know you won’t betray me. I know you’re for me. I know you’ve purchased me by your blood. I trust you’re good in this, but help me because part of me is wavering. I can’t make sense of this. I don’t know what to do with this. I’m afraid. Help my unbelief!”

See, the incarnation anchors us regardless of life circumstance. He is worthy of our faith, because if this is the year that, forget presents, you’re just trying to keep the lights on, he’ll anchor your soul. If this is your first Christmas without a loved one, gosh! It’s terrible. I know. He’ll anchor your soul as we trust him. He cannot betray you. It would be betraying himself.

If this is a Christmas where things have come together and you’re really excited… You know, your kids have kind of grown out of the “eat the paper and go back to sleep” phase, and they’re like amped right now. I mean, they’re shaking boxes, and you’re having to say, “Stay away from the tree!”

You’re having to engage. You’re super excited about what’s to come. Well, that should be wind into the sails of your worship. See, the incarnation makes sense regardless of life circumstance. He is worthy of your faith. May our mantra always be, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

So as 2016 starts out, that’s where I’m at. It’s my mantra, it’s my verse for the year, it’s what echos in my mind when I start to wrap my mind around how God is going to bring a baby into our family.

I think it’s been my verse for a while now actually, I just didn’t know it. 🙂

Blessed am I.


2 thoughts on “Help me with my unbelief.

  1. I couldn’t agree more. I think that during the journey to grow our family, there are many times when we look around and ask God what He is doing, and if He really knows what’s best. I know we have done that many times over the last three and a half years. Adoption is a special journey, as are fertility treatments including IVF. Both are scary and expensive. 😉 We are praying for you as you move forward with adoption, and we can’t wait to see how God puts your family together. As a fellow waiting adoptive mom please know I’m “around” if you need a listening ear.


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