Wrestling with words.

Lately the routine has been this: work all day, paperwork all evening. Huxley is back to groaning every time I open the laptop and just lays there staring at me while making a variety of bored and “I’m so over this” sounds. Chris has been a champ at doing almost all of the cooking, and has even worked away at his parenting classes with minimal complaining. My mom came up this past weekend and helped us measure the house / draw out the floor plan and take pictures of the house.

We’ve hit a few snags here and there {the e-mailing in the form thing has gotten weird on us more than once} but for the most part it’s been a smooth process so far. Boxes are getting checked off at a steady pace and I’ve felt pleased with it all.

Tonight was a big accomplishment because I finally finished the first of the ‘important words’ forms. Important as in this is what the woman who chooses us will read. These are the words that will inform her decision and speak to her heart and breath peace over who we are and all we want for the baby she will place with us. {Well, God is the one who will do the peace breathing and the heart speaking, but in at least a small way it will be through those words.}

And so that’s why I just spent time over 3 days and over 4 combined hours wrestling over 3 short paragraphs.

I pray I got them right. 


I wanted them to convey who we are.

I wanted to keep in mind the struggles she will be facing as she reads them. That my “hope” and “excitement” will most likely be met by very different feelings from her.

I wanted to acknowledge in some way that this just isn’t how it should be.

And so I spoke, ever so briefly, to the beautiful mess that adoption is.

I hope she understands my heart.

I hope she knows I wrestle. 

Blessed are we…she & I.


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