show up & show off.

The last time I had a chance / took the time to blog was right after our little ones made it safely to our clinic via FedEx.

That was a good day. 🙂

The days since have been filled to the brim with family & friends, food & fun, naps & snuggles, cough drops & cocoa. My break from school didn’t feel quick or rushed, and besides taking our Christmas boxes to storage, everything I had hoped to do has been done. I’m just sad that it’s over and my naps have to return to their Sunday afternoon spot. ;/

We really had a sweet, lovely Christmas. The night Christmas break started, we hosted our home group for a Christmas party. One of our dear friends who is a chef catered for us, and we hired Chris’ cousin who is a magician to wow us with some crazy magic. We had such a good time, and I just loved the chance to create a cozy environment for everyone. The next day Chris’ family came over for our Christmas with them. We exchanged a few simple gifts, grazed on delicious food all day long, and played board games for hours. On Christmas Eve we drove in to my parent’s house and stayed through the weekend to celebrate / hang out with my family. Other highlights of the break were getting a massage, sleeping and reading to my hearts content, and finding out that my little brother is going to be a daddy to a little BOY! A sweet time of R & R for sure. 🙂

With my family in particular, this was a special Christmas because it marks the end of a season…our last without little ones underfoot. My brother’s little one will be here in June, and hopefully we’ll follow with a baby or two before the end of the year. We had a lot of fun talking about what it will be like and all things baby. It’s going to be a grand adventure!

As 2014 wrapped up, I must say I was probably less introspective than I have been in years past. Maybe it’s because the last year and a half or so have been an exercise in self-reflection…maybe I’m just kind of in this still, in-between spot…maybe I was just enjoying my time and living in the moment. I’m okay with either one of those.;)  Here were my FB end of year thoughts…

“This time last year I was singing about broken hallelujah’s and praying that 2014 would bring Chris & I a baby through traditional adoption. When we were ringing in the New Year I never could have imagined the plans God would have for us over this past year…or that we would indeed become parents, just to 4 little snowflakes through embryo adoption.

I learned incredible truths about my God in 2014…beautiful, hard, Heather-altering truths. Friends, God is so incredibly good…even when life is not. He makes every bitter thing sweet when we allow Him to. He shows up & shows off when we move out of the way, and His plans for 2015 are better than any we could write down for ourselves.

As I pray over my hopes & dreams for 2015, as I ask God what road He would have us travel down in this new year, my heart is singing a different song. “You make me brave, You make me brave, You call me out beyond the shore into the waves, You make me brave, You make me brave, No fear can hinder now the love that made a way…” Looking forward to meeting at least 2 of our little ones in 2015, thankful for the love that has made a way for Chris & I to build our family!”

So here I find myself, a few days into 2015. I’d say I’m definitely full of hopes for the new year, full of excitement and anticipation. But I think more than any year before, and more than anything else, I have my eyes on Christ. I recognize that He is the captain of this ship, the maker of the plans, the giver of life, the provider of jobs, the healer of deep rooted hurts, the source of my hope and my strength. Certainly, I have hopes…my heart desires to carry two little ones until I am able to hold them in my arms…but I’d say I’m entering this year a step at a time, keeping my eyes on the one who decides where the next step will be. I’ve learned that I can trust Him with my heart, with every hope, with all 4 of our little ones.

It’s a good place to be. I find great encouragement in knowing that no doctor, no medicine, no diet plan or embryo grading is in control of the plans God has for me. He’s got me & my little family in His hands. Until He reveals the next part of this journey He has us on, I’ll wait & watch, hope & pray…all the while asking Him to show up & show off in our lives & circumstances.

To Him be the glory in 2015.

Blessed am I.

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