on the road.

Dearest Little Ones,

Today is a big day in the story of our family…you are moving closer to us! All day we’ve had family & friends praying over you, your trip, and your FedEx driver. {That’s gotten plenty of laughs, trust me.} We got an e-mail just a bit ago saying that you all were on the way, on track to arrive at our doctors office by 10:30 in the morning.

It’s all so wild and wonderful and…well, weird. Not too many babies travel by FedEx after all. 😉

I haven’t felt anxious about this step of our process, mostly just relieved and thankful that this day is here. It’s an exciting time, and like many of the big milestones along this path to make you all part of our family, I am so encouraged and spurred on by the excitement of others. Joy is truly felt more fully when it is shared with others…that’s a big lesson I’ve learned over the past year. To be honest, sometimes I struggle with feeling excited about the milestones. I think it’s because I know there is still so much still to do before you are in my arms, or perhaps it’s because I have so many feelings all at once and it just becomes overwhelming. I fight fear and anxiousness a lot, but God has been strengthening me in that area and it doesn’t linger so close to the surface most days.

All of that to say, when I am weak, God is strong…and He strengthens me through the excitement and encouragement of others. It’s one of the most beautiful things about family, about community. I think it’s one of the most beautiful things about your story too – this network of people…your village…who already show you such love through their prayers.

There is a particular family that is especially close to my heart tonight…the one that made it so for you to become a part of ours. Without them coming alongside us, our stories…yours and ours…never would have become one. When I think of them, the first word that always comes to mind is love. The love they have for you, little ones, is incredible. It’s a love that doesn’t make sense to the world; it’s a hard love that is costly and redemptive at the same time. It’s the love of Christ, reflected in their decision to place you for adoption so that you might have life. It is a beautiful love, and it is part of your legacy.

My dear, dear little ones, your story has always read love. 

So tonight, we will go to sleep with you on our minds and hearts. We are anticipating hearing that you’ve made it safely to the clinic, and we are excited about the time we will officially get to meet you. I think it’s beautiful timing that you are traveling to us now, in this season of advent, when we are reminded of and filled with anticipation for God to fulfill His promises. I’m praying tonight that God would hold you tenderly in His hands, and that you would be tucked in with His love always. See you soon, sweet ones.

Love, Momma