Hot mess.

Today I was doing this summer housewife business like a boss.

Which leaves me with two questions.

A) How do I keep up with all of this during the school year? {Oh yes, I remember now…that’s how I earn those dark circles under my eyes.}

B) How do people with kids keep up with all of this? {That lingering questions leaves me with a shiver…}

I mean, I worked so hard today I didn’t even get a nap.

*wink*

The weird/not cool/I-need-to-get-over-myself thing about suddenly being off for the summer and having the ability to manage my time more as I wish also means, as I learned today, that I want to post an abundance of Facebook posts about everything I’m doing. And since I do enjoy the hashtag, I even catch myself thinking in twitter talk. {And I’m not even on twitter!}

Off to our ‘Weird Animal’ VBS, rockin’ my garage sale cheetah vest… #dontyouwishyourvbsteacherwascoollikeme

Meal planning, grocery lists, and Wal-Mart…oh my!

Who has two thumbs and picked THE MOST DELICIOUS WATERMELON OF THE SEASON? #thisgirl #twiceinarow #ilovewatermelon

There is a big ball obstacle course {from Wipeout!} on Steve Harvey?! Oh the things I would do to get my hands on one of those…

Pinteresting it up with my banana oat non-muffin muffins recipe and pink lemonade pineapple punch {served in an adorable little mason jar, of course} this afternoon…glorious! #summerhousewife #yum

and later… Turns out non-muffin muffins with no flour or sugar are….quite bland. #wompwomp

How does this dog have any hair left? It looks like I killed a small animal in our front yard! Off to get this puppy into the bath…

Multiply = truth, truth, truth #francischan #davidplatt #discipleship

A little yoga while dinner is in the oven? Don’t mind if I do…

and later… Oh lawd have mercy, I shouldn’t take 10 months off of yoga. #notflexibleatall #corpseposeismyfavorite

Pioneer Woman ‘crash potatoes’ are a hit at the Thompson house…and I successfully cooked in the crock-pot without burning the meat to a crisp! #heatherforthewin #summerhousewife

While all of that is legit {I had a highly productive afternoon…it was my first of the summer and will likely be my last} it also would have been seriously annoying to clog up people’s news feed with that junk. {Which could be made only more annoying by A) even more hashtags, or B) an ungodly series of emoticons following each update.}

And also, why do I feel such a compulsion to update everyone on everyone little accomplishment? Was anyone going to bring me a cookie?

{No seriously…I wonder if anyone would have brought me a cookie? Hum…maybe I’ll start adding #ifyouareimpressedbringmeacookie to every post I make from now on. That requires far more commitment than simply hitting the like button.}

It’s sick, these things Facebook makes me want to do.

As it is, I only posted once. And it was about VBS. So I felt like that was acceptable.

#selfcontrol

#gag

#thispostisgettingawayfromme

Sooooooooo anyway.

No new news on the embryo front. I fight to lay down my feelings on that…somewhere around 2-3 times an hour. But only during my waking hours, so it could be worse.

Just like that ol’ nasty desire to post pictures of my dinner to FB, the urge to have a meltdown every time the ding alerting me that I have a new e-mail turns out to NOT be from the agency is ever present.

God is good though, He mercifully and lovingly sustains…and calms…and focuses me. I love that He has taught me a new understanding of ‘give me this day my daily bread.’ Some days I fail miserably at it and try to demand more from Him, but I’m learning that He gives me all I need. In His timing.

I keep adding to the list of verses I want to meditate on and memorize, but so far God hasn’t let me leave this one. “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

In case you haven’t figured it out {how you could have missed it after my facebook-update-running-commentary, I don’t know} I like control. Productiveness. Schedules and plans. Cookies. Waiting is not high on my list of favorite things.

All of this to say, if some posts sound like I’ve got it together…like I’ve got this infertility / adoption thing all figured out…then just know that by myself, I’m a hot mess. Any semblance of gracefulness in this wait is from Jesus. Some days I walk easily with Him in this area, other days it is a moment by moment struggle to die to self and live joyfully and peacefully in Him.

I may contact the agency later this week…if I haven’t heard from my contact lady. Try to get a better understanding about the process on their end and see if she has any feedback for me on why the families who have seen our profile haven’t requested to match with us…but only if He wants me to. 

Still figuring out the line between what I need to understand in this process and what I need to trust and submit to Him on, I guess.

Blessed am I.

#youdeserveacookieafterreadingthispost

#wink

 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Hot mess.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s