Start a bonfire.

One of the things that I love most about blogging is how it has the ability to connect you, even in just these small little ways, to others who are experiencing the same kind of crazy, messy, beautiful life that you are. For me, it has been so encouraging to read and interact a bit with several strong, yet at the same time vulnerable women who have the courage to put their own struggles & joys & questions & fears & acts of obedience {and occasionally acts of disobedience!} to our God out there for others to read. Infertility, IVF, all sorts of different adoption routes…I just love the honesty and realness. It’s good stuff.

Recently I linked over to a blogger/author named Natasha Metzler…I’ve been reading here and there on her blog for the last week or so, and read her book “Pain Redeemed: When Our Deepest Sorrow Meets God” while swinging in the hammock one evening. Although our stories aren’t so much the same, it was incredible to read the conclusions that she has come to about God and infertility…because many times I could hear my own understandings reflected in her words. I love that. She also gave me insight into the world of depression…which I experience through my husband, and am still very much learning to navigate those murky waters.

After finishing that initial read, I went back through and took notes of the parts that really spoke to me {I’m such a book nerd!}. I can’t put them all on here…there were 9 pages in all…but I have them written in my journal and continue to think on what God challenged me with through her words. In the coming days, I plan on reading portions of it {specifically those that speak to the pain, bitterness, and lies from the enemy} to the husband. My prayer is that it will spark conversation and hopefully resonate with him…speaking God’s truth to his life in this area will not return void. I believe that.

A lot of what she said also tied in directly to the ‘Secret Church’ study I went through this year…so it was exciting to make those connections and further understand some of the truths I’ve been chewing on in the last month or so. {Specifically referring to the parts about the cross and death being at the center of our Christian faith…} Annnnd “1,000 Gifts”…saw nods to that as well. {I just *love* it when God brings His truth together…grounded in His word. It’s exciting to me!}

Below I’ve combined several quotes from her book that I thought were so beautiful…so challenging. I want to remember them for a long time.

“There are times to clean up our dreams to make room for miracles. We have to gather up the deadness and start a bonfire. Let the ashes paint the canvas of our lives.  ….  The miracle will be the redemption of our pain, not the absolution of it.   ….   Every miracle contains sorrow, for without pain there is no need for a miracle. But they also contain redemption. The kind that is so full of light and beauty that it hurts to look at them. ….  Only in emptiness can we be filled. Only in the burning of our dreams can we glimpse the redemption that God offers.”

– Natasha Metzler

So to the bloggers out there who stop by or follow…who comment words of encouragement…who pray for me on this journey of infertility and embryo adoption…who share your stories {the good, the bad, and the ugly!}…thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve been encouraged by you, challenged by you, and reminded that I’m not alone in this walk because of you.

I recently heard it said that our Christian faith is meant to be lived out within the context of community…thank you for being part of mine.

Blessed am I.