Broken Hallelujah.

Another year has come & gone…

Gotta say, this last one brought with it some struggle.

But really, what year doesn’t?

A while back I heard the song “Broken Hallelujah” by the Afters…and I can’t think of any truer words to describe what Christ asked of me in 2013.

And the thing is…there is a very real possibility that it will continue to be an anthem in my life in 2014. The path to adoption is not that big, well traveled, smooth-riding road…it is often narrow & curvy with lots of unknowns and possibilities for bumps & bruises on your heart. I don’t know if God is done with this season of brokenness in my life…but really, isn’t God in the work of brokenness? If not this area of my life…then in something else that needs prying out of these tightly-clenched fists of mine.

The truth is, God receives so much more glory from the broken hallelujahs of His followers than the empty, over-indulged, #lookhowblessediambecauseofhoweasymylifeisrightnow #lookhowblessediambecauseofallthematerialthingsihave offerings we have a tendency to post on our Facebook walls & write about in our Christmas cards. And I’m saying that to myself. To me. I’m beyond guilty of thinking that breezy, sunshine-y days are the only indication of God’s blessing in my life.

{I have a feeling I’m not alone in that.}

But to take those days & call them good and a blessing, I’ve learned that I must also be willing to take the hard days…when it’s raining and I’m lost and I find myself in a place where I don’t speak the language…and recognize that the same good God is weaving blessings into my life. That He’s taking the fire I’m walking through and using it to make me more like HIM.

Call me crazy, but He’s brought me too far to stop here…moment by moment, day by day…I pray He will empty these hands of mine in such a way that makes my life a series of broken hallelujahs that all point back to Him.

That would be a hashtag worth reading about.

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“Broken Hallelujah”

I can barely stand right now. Everything is crashing down, And I wonder where You are.
I try to find the words to pray. I don’t always know what to say, But You’re the one that can hear my heart.
Even though I don’t know what your plan is, I know You’re making beauty from these ashes.
I’ve seen joy and I’ve seen pain. On my knees, I call Your name. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
With nothing left to hold onto, I raise these empty hands to You. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
You know the things that have brought me here. You know the story of every tear. ‘Cause You’ve been here from the very start.
Even though I don’t know what your plan is, I know You’re making beauty from these ashes.
I’ve seen joy and I’ve seen pain. On my knees, I call Your name. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
With nothing left to hold onto, I raise these empty hands to You. Here’s my broken hallelujah.
When all is taken away, don’t let my heart be changed. Let me always sing Hallelujah
When I feel afraid, don’t let my hope be erased Let me always sing Hallelujah. Let me always sing Hallelujah.
I will always sing I will always sing Here’s my broken hallelujah.
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I’ve seen lots of really cute “2014 is going to be my year!” graphics floating around today…but tonight, my prayer is a little different…in a big way.
I want 2014 to be God’s year in my life…I’m learning more and more that His plans are better than my own.
Not going to lie though…it requires a lot of deep breathing on my part to type that…to feel that way.
I don’t think that I am alone in that either. 🙂
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This post kind of took on a life of it’s own…can’t say it totally ended up going where I thought it was going when I first opened it up. It’s not the first time God has revealed what He has for me as my fingers fly…and pick…and wander across the keyboard.
I really like it when He does that.
Blessed am I.
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2 thoughts on “Broken Hallelujah.

  1. Sweet girl! Momma is so proud of you, ever since the time I thought I actually heard His audible voice….stop finding fault with MY little girl, the fault you see in her is just your own reflection. He so loved you then and he so loves you now! Blessed are we!

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