Plan A…

This post has been sitting in my draft pile for a while now. It’s been a hard one to put into words…because the word choice is very, very important when it comes to this particular topic. At least it is to me.

When we were in the middle of our decision-making season, something that weighed really heavy on my heart & mind was “Plan A.” I *never* want my child(ren) to feel as though they weren’t my first choice…as though they were “Plan B.” I don’t want others to make that assumption about our choice to adopt, but I feel like it’s a danger since we have infertility issues.

My mom really helped me sort through everything I was thinking…and as we began to see how God has been weaving adoption into our story before we even became aware of what He was doing {Chris, as a child, wanted to adopt “a hundred special needs kids.” I haven’t met many little boys who have dreams like that?!}  I began to realize that it has always been His plan, we were just waiting on His timing for it to be revealed.

And that’s what matters.

Did Chris and I try to have biological children the natural, old-fashioned way first? Yes, although now I believe God was protecting our hearts through that process, because neither of us ever caught ‘baby fever’…and it was more like we were ‘not not‘ trying.

Could we have pursued infertility treatments? Yes…although our options were completely limited (medically speaking) to IVF. This was where it became important that we lay our own fears and wills down to see the path God had for us. When we decided to follow God’s call to pursue adoption, instead of IVF, we were again reaffirming adoption as His “Plan A” for us.

I believe that God has known from the beginning of time who our baby(ies) would be, and so the means through which He chooses to bless our lives with them will *always* be their (and our!) plan A…whether He does it through adoption or chooses to intervene physically / biologically.

So that’s what I’ll tell them one day…and that’s what I want others to understand in the meantime.

Blessed am I.

*I read a really great blog/post on this topic which gave me the clarity and courage to put my heart into words. Check it out here!

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