Today I have another day off of school…which means just over 4 days of being “iced in” thanks to this winter storm. Yesterday I was feeling kind of guilty over how non-productive this little break has been, but as I texted with my friends who have little ones at home I realized that I should probably enjoy this quiet, nap-whenever-I-want season of life. ūüôā

Today I’m finishing up a really great book that a friend of my mom’s lent me, doing some of the infant care course work that the agency requested, and *maybe* doing a little work cleaning out the guest closet. As I sat down to get started on my work, I checked my e-mail and decided to try to ‘unsubscribe’ from some of the bazillion e-mails I get everyday. For that reason, I opened a few that I haven’t taken the time to read in quite a while…and I’m glad I did.

This is what was waiting for me.

Unveiled Wife                                    

Prayer Of The Day ‚Äď Fruit Of The Womb

For Dec 09, 2013 02:28 amDear Heavenly Father,I really feel led to pray a specific prayer for married couples who desire children, but for some reason have not been able to conceive.  You know the very reason of why these couples have not had children and you have insight into how this has affected their hearts and their marriage.  So I just lift them up to you today.  I pray that you would comfort them and speak softly to them, encouraging them in how to feel about this specific area of life.  May your Holy Spirit anoint them and give them understanding.  I pray your will is done in their lives.  Perhaps some will never have children, some you will open their wombs at the perfect time, while some will adopt or foster.  Whatever happens from this point in their lives I pray for complete joy, your joy to fill their hearts in Jesus name AMEN!

In a lot of ways, I’ve been feeling better & stronger than I was when I was really in the midst of my deep pain and struggle. Now it seems as though I’m struggling with feeling a bit melancholy. Usually Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year…I love to cram as many Christmas-y experiences in as I can and spread cheer to all of those that I know and love. But this year…I just feel kind of blah. I don’t think I’m depressed, I just don’t quiet feel myself.

So when I read this e-mail, and as I began to type this post, it became clear to me that what I’m missing right now is that ‘complete joy.’ I want to laugh and have the smile reach my eyes; I want to not feel so tired and ho-hum. I want to soak in every moment of this time in our marriage when it’s just Chris¬†& I…giving us the time & attention we deserve, not just being wistful about what the future may or may not bring. I want to fully feel…I guess maybe the best way to put it is that I’ve felt a little numb lately. (Perhaps after struggling through such an intense time of feeling my body & mind need a rest…I don’t know…but¬†her words¬†helped me recognize my desire for the happiness that comes from the joy of Christ to bubble up in me again.)

I pray that this Christmas especially, I would be¬†reminded that joy came into the world in the form of a precious little baby…and because of that,¬†I can rest and rejoice in the joy & peace He gives me.

Blessed am I.

P.S. – Obviously I’m not going to be unsubscribing from this particular blog…check her out at


One thought on “JOY

  1. Amazing that that prayer was sent and read at the perfect time! I have been feeling too the importance of cherishing this childless time with my husband and using it as preparation for when we are blessed with little ones! Thank you for this reminder!:-)

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