I believe in spiritual warfare. And while I don’t think it’s something ‘new’ in my life, I have seen evidence of it in a much more real way within the last few weeks.
The last thing I want to do is give the enemy power through my words, so I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty details of the ways he has attacked Chris & I during this time. But without a doubt in my mind, we have been under attack.
Our God is not a God of fear…but the enemy thrives on it. We struggled with many fears in our initial talks about what adoption would look like for our family. Praise be to God that He paved this way for us long before we knew it was the path He had for us. He placed believers in our lives who could speak truth about adoption and God’s heart, and He has ministered to us further through His word and music. As we step out in faith and move forward in this process, I know ‘fear’ will likely be lurking around many corners…so I will continue to pray it out of our lives.
Our God is not a God of contention…but the enemy spurs it on. One night, after talking with our preacher & his wife and really settling some of our lingering thoughts and feelings regarding in vitro & adoption, we came home and unexpectedly found ourselves in the middle of what I can only describe as the weirdest fight we have ever had. (Like that honesty? I didn’t even call it a ‘discussion.’) A topic came up that was not new to our marriage, but was new to our adoption conversations. And literally, it was like everything imploded. At one point, adoption (which we had already agreed was where this was all going) was threatened to be yanked off of the table…even though we both knew that wasn’t how we felt about it at all.
Once again, praise be to God. We had gone to separate rooms for a few minutes but were both facing major battles in our heads as we tried to settle ourselves. Then, it hit us, almost at the exact same time…we had been under attack.
We immediately came back together and began talking about the root of the disagreement, about our true resolve regarding adoption, and apologized to one another for allowing Satan to have a foothold into our marriage in that area. It was incredibly eye-opening to us, and ended up serving as more confirmation for us that we are following God’s will in this area of our life.
When God is moving, and when we are seeking Him, the enemy moves against it. His very interest in our circumstances verifies that God is moving. And praise God, praise God…my God will win. Satan will be defeated in my life and in our marriage through the blood of Jesus Christ, and I pray God’s provision and protection over our marriage as we move forward with adoption. My God is bigger than anything the enemy can throw at us…and with God for us, he cannot stand against us.
Oh, the power and peace we felt that night as we came together to pray the enemy out of our decision and home and family. What he sought to destroy God built up that night. In the days since, Chris and I have entered into as sweet a time of marriage as we’ve ever had. We are enjoying a time of awe and communion with our Lord, inviting Him into our family in a very real, day-to-day kind of way. Miracle upon miracle people. Miracles are happening. I believe that.
So, today, the day I had big plans to mail off our pre-application to the agency we feel called to be a part of, it really came as no great surprise to find out that my car had a flat tire.
But, you better believe, I made sure that letter got mailed.
And I don’t think we’ve stopped smiling yet.
Blessed am I.