“Well, you could always adopt!”

Oh goodness.

Let me just go ahead and put it out there that this is something you should probably NOT say to a couple who has just been told it will be difficult for them to have a biological child without lots of help. {I had someone say it to me within days of finding out our diagnosis and it took *serious* prayer to keep my composure.}

#1 – Adoption is not the “answer” to infertility. Reproductive therapies aren’t the “answer” either. JESUS is the answer. So just do both of us a favor and don’t bring up adoption like you just had a light bulb moment with a new and innovative idea. We’ve considered adoption, and are seriously considering it…but it does not automatically cancel out the pain of infertility.

#2 – No one “just adopts.” By all accounts, it’s an expensive, intrusive, heart-wrenching process. Worth it? I have no doubt. But something to do on a whim or with ease? Not so much.

#3 – Sure! You could adopt to! …Just like adoption is not the answer to infertility, it’s also not limited to infertile couples. If I can get my courage up, I want this to be my answer the next time a random acquaintance makes this suggestion. Boo yah.

******************************************************

In my recent reading…and pinteresting…I’ve found some quotes that are so poignant to me. As I read them they just resonated deep within me. Adoption is a serious thing…not to be entered into lightly. As God turns our hearts more and more toward adoption, these are the types of thoughts I struggle under the weight of.

–By the time you receive your child, he or she will have already experienced the greatest wound of their life.

redemption

{source}

child

{source}

Whew. That last one. It leaves me speechless.

There is no “just adopt.” For Chris and I to have a family through adoption, a child has to lose his/her original family unit. A mother has to give up her child. God can overcome, but it won’t be without struggle and loss.

Like it or not, the struggle is part of the story.

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3 thoughts on ““Well, you could always adopt!”

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