“Well, you could always adopt!”

Oh goodness.

Let me just go ahead and put it out there that this is something you should probably NOT say to a couple who has just been told it will be difficult for them to have a biological child without lots of help. {I had someone say it to me within days of finding out our diagnosis and it took *serious* prayer to keep my composure.}

#1 – Adoption is not the “answer” to infertility. Reproductive therapies aren’t the “answer” either. JESUS is the answer. So just do both of us a favor and don’t bring up adoption like you just had a light bulb moment with a new and innovative idea. We’ve considered adoption, and are seriously considering it…but it does not automatically cancel out the pain of infertility.

#2 – No one “just adopts.” By all accounts, it’s an expensive, intrusive, heart-wrenching process. Worth it? I have no doubt. But something to do on a whim or with ease? Not so much.

#3 – Sure! You could adopt to! …Just like adoption is not the answer to infertility, it’s also not limited to infertile couples. If I can get my courage up, I want this to be my answer the next time a random acquaintance makes this suggestion. Boo yah.


In my recent reading…and pinteresting…I’ve found some quotes that are so poignant to me. As I read them they just resonated deep within me. Adoption is a serious thing…not to be entered into lightly. As God turns our hearts more and more toward adoption, these are the types of thoughts I struggle under the weight of.

–By the time you receive your child, he or she will have already experienced the greatest wound of their life.





Whew. That last one. It leaves me speechless.

There is no “just adopt.” For Chris and I to have a family through adoption, a child has to lose his/her original family unit. A mother has to give up her child. God can overcome, but it won’t be without struggle and loss.

Like it or not, the struggle is part of the story.


3 thoughts on ““Well, you could always adopt!”

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