Blessed am I.

Sometimes life knocks the breath out of you.

That’s what has happened to me as of late…and it’s the reason I’m starting this new blog.

I tried to compose this post, the post where I announce that my husband & I have entered the land of infertility, on my original blog…but although my fingers flew across the keyboard with thoughts and feelings pouring out of my heart, I just couldn’t click that final post button.

I guess I’m just not ready to put my heart out there quiet yet.

All the same, my fingers have been itching to write, to sort through this new reality…so here I am. The road to this place is a long one by blog standards, but a short one by infertility standards…and with the craziness of life it may take me a while to get it all out and into comprehensible words.

It’s probably better that way…I’m still processing after all.

For now, this blog will be for me and for anyone who wanders by or passes through. I’m sure one day I’ll be ready to let my family and friends in…when I do, and you read this, know that I love you and I appreciate you encouraging and praying for Chris & I as we follow the Lord’s leading in growing our family. I know this is new territory for many of you too, so thank you for your patience with me as well.

On a final note for tonight, I want to point to the name of this blog and the verse in the tagline. As I thought of what I might like to title this new space of mine, I did what I do for most good ideas these days…went to Pinterest. There are several graphics I’ve pinned of beautiful phrases and verses that resonate with me. This is the one I just couldn’t get out of my head…

blessed

Not able to recall the context of the reference, I thought it would be wise to look it up in my well worn bible…

And wow.

When I read the story behind this verse, all I could do was sit in amazement and cry about the beauty of how God weaves everything together…

Luke 1:39-49

{39} At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, {40} where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. {41} When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped within her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. {42} In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! {43} But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? {44} As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. {45} Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished! {46} And Mary said: My soul glorifies the Lord {47} and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, {48} for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, {49} for the Mighty One has done great things for me – holy is his name.

It is no accident that I was drawn to this verse…turns out God was speaking to me through this verse in a way I truly didn’t see coming.

While I was in a state of wondering and asking how He would will me to become a mother, how I will know what His plan for us is, how to move forward from this diagnosis…He was pointing me back to the baby that changed everything, and the woman who carried him.

What God says, He will accomplish. I know in my heart of hearts that He has written it on my heart to be a mother, and on Chris’ to be a Father.

Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished. I can trust God…and through my belief I will be blessed.

And then Mary, who was young and surely scared and worried, responds by glorifying the Lord and allowing her spirit to rejoice in Him as her Savior. Thank you Lord, for giving me a model for what my response can and should be, even in the face of fear and worry.

I will have children one day…and my new prayer is that the generations who come to follow as a result of the way God blesses us with children will call me blessed…not because of anything I do, but because the Mighty One has done great things for me.

Holy is HIS name.

Blessed am I.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s